Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Lessons learned from a Hospital Bed

Life is complicated and unpredictable.  If it wasn't, would it ever be this interesting? I have had many unpredictable, happy moments this year – the gift of an unexpected friendship, the gift of great new employees, many unexpected accomplishments with my kids.  But we tend to focus on the unpredictable events that knock us off the course we think we should be travelling.  If life were all happiness and roses and sunny days, would those be as special?  Just when you have it all figured out, you have it down and everything is moving forward at a smooth, rapid pace, the left turn comes out of the blue. 

Why does life become the most unpredictable, when change is the last thing you want?  Why is it unpredictable and complicated when you are at your busiest?    And why is there always a great lesson to learn in the midst of it all?  

A few weeks ago I was in enough pain to prompt a trip to the emergency room in the middle of the night.  You can learn a lot about drugs and alcohol in the middle of the night at the hospital closest to a major university, but that is not the focus here.

After several hours of tests that were leading nowhere, an MRI identified a problem severe enough that less than an hour passed from results to the operating room.  The surgeon showed up to discuss the procedure looking more like a graduate student studying an earthy science like geology.  He actually turned out to be quite excellent, fortunately.  There was not time to think or plan or make phone calls.  But I do recall as they wheeled me off to the operating room, that this would have to be quick because I really didn't have time to be out of the office for long.  Several hours later I awoke to find a huge but fortunately temporary change to my wonderful life.   IV, heart monitor, oxygen, wraps on my legs that kept inflating to prevent clots, and a corset wrapped tightly around my middle.
It was easy to feel sorry for myself – there was the pain but that was complicated further by doctor instructions that added up to torture - Walking four times a day when just to attempt to sit up was excruciating.  Hourly breathing treatments to prevent pneumonia when every deep breath sent crashing waves of pain through my body. 

But just as life turns unpredictable, so many rich lessons came from this unexpected turn.  There is something to be said for lying still for a few days that helps a person focus on the important things in life.

I am not alone.  I received so much support from family and friends.  My family never left my side.  They all coordinated it so I never was alone, even in the night.  Friends were in touch daily, lending support and strength, kind words, songs to make me smile.

Choose to be positive – choose to believe this is not forever, even when it feels like it.  When you are so exhausted from pain and surgery, it’s hard to believe that you will ever feel well again.

Choose to be thankful for the kindness of strangers.  In the hospital so many people are part of the mix – two doctors, multiple nurses, nurses aids, therapists, chaplains, cleaning people, even people who choose to draw blood for a living.  In the middle of a restless night, Jada, the kindest, sweetest nurse’s aid offered to change the bed telling me that fresh cool linens would help me sleep.  So while I logged in my first painful walk of the day, she quickly changed the bed and was ready and waiting for me.  She didn't have to do it.  That was a duty of the day time staff.  It was pure and simple kindness.

Count on others – Our largest customer show of the year was less than four weeks away when I checked into the hospital.  The invitations had gone out and there was no turning back.  With over 300 people expected, the show is a huge production that takes a great deal of coordination.  And I handle multiple customers and projects on a daily basis.  I know we have a great staff and I brag about them all the time.  But they went into superman mode.  They were amazing, stepping up, taking over tasks they had not done before.   Their creativity to make this an incredible show without my daily leadership knows no bounds and the show will be amazing.  Again my family helped in every way, taking over everything that needed to be done at home.

Choose to make people feel like their job matters – I never thought about using leader skills from a hospital bed.  I learned this quite by accident.  One evening I was assigned a rather cocky male nurse who I had not met before.   As he was leaving my room to go get my evening injection which was incredibly painful, I challenged him.  “Hey I am having a contest to see who can give the most pain free injection – you have the opportunity to win.”  It really just started as a way for me to respond to his cockiness.  He became a totally different person, rising to the occasion.  On other nights this nightly injection left me bruised with a burning pain for several minutes.  He told me he was the best and with grand flamboyant technique, gave me the injection.  I never felt it.  I awarded him with a hand written certificate using the white board marker in the room and a lined piece of paper.  He was so excited and talked about it all evening.   I tried the same technique the next early morning with the person who draws the blood.  He was so incredibly careful and when he finished, he asked me “So how did I do?”  I, of course, told him he was one of the best.  Unfortunately at 5:00 in the morning I am not quite up to making certificates.  But his is the most thankless job and he walked away with a spring in his step.

Finally – Fake it until you become it.  This is a line from my favorite TedTalk and it always comes in handy.  It’s amazing how much better you feel even when you are faking it. 


Life would not be life if it wasn't unpredictable.  My friends will tell you I needed to slow down; I needed to learn to ask for help.  I needed to “reset” my life.  Without unpredictability, the special times would not be special, and frankly, without the unexpected twist and turns, life would be rather dull.  So embrace the change, the unpredictability and never ever stop looking for the lessons that can be learned.  

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